I know a lot of you were concerned over my last post expressing my depression. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's the same, and sometimes it's worse. This is a test of faith and I am being tested in a way I never could have imagined. I won't pretend that sometimes I have no faith at all. I believe in a higher power but there are times I doubt or question. I try to keep my life simple and take pleasure where I can find it, and have gratitude for what I have, which is a hell of a lot. It's hard for me to see that this is worth something, that on the other side of this madness there will be goodness and a worthwhile life. I know that I have goodness in my life right now and that my life is worthwhile right now, but when I am in the middle of a question of faith things get confusing. Sometimes the pain is mental and sometimes it's physical. Certainly spiritually I am in a lot of pain because my faith is being tested. I want this madness to end in whatever way it can.
I know this is a very allegorical post (is that the correct way to describe it? Metaphoric, maybe?) but that's how I'm feeling and writing right now.
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