Friday, January 2, 2009

Update January 2nd 2009

My mind is still trying to comprehend the news I just received from my oncologist. From what the first set of scans said, my disease is getting worse, not better. It's spread. The cancer in my liver has gotten larger, and more of my bones are apparently affected as well. I'm going in to have some additional scans today, but the initial impression is that the overall prognosis is not good.

I am overwhelmed with sadness right now. I feel like I've been given a death sentence no matter what happens. I don't know what I am going to do. The proposal of another year of chemotherapy treatment is too much for me to swallow. In fact it appears that the chemotherapy will have to be significantly changed to an even more aggressive protocol; one which I have no doubt will lead to side effects of sickness. If I do nothing, of course, I will surely die. So my choices are not good on either side, or so I perceive right now.

I don't know anything. I don't know what I am going to do anymore.

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