Update September 14 2009

Many of you already know that the MRI results I received were not the best. The tumor has grown, and the concern is that because it's affecting my hip bones, I could spontaneously fracture my hip. In addition to that, I have been in almost constant pain of some sort for several weeks. The pain gets so intense that I cannot move or stand. I have been living on pain meds and my life has become extremely limited.

I have an appointment scheduled with a radiation oncologist at Cedars on Wednesday. Radiation might help relieve some of the pain and also might kill off some of the cancer cells which are affecting my bones. The type of tumor I have normally does not respond to radiation, which is why the option wasn't used previously. My cancer is behaving more like a rectal cancer in that it's spreading rapidly and affecting the bones. The hope is that if it's behaving like a rectal cancer, it will respond like one, and the radiation will be useful.

Obviously there are side effects to this. I already know I am likely to lose my remaining hair and become quite tired. There is a concern that it might damage my colon. At this point, I am willing to do anything not to be in pain.

I am sad and frustrated. I can't do anything, even what I could do last week, because I am in overwhelming pain. I hope the pain will go away soon, as it has in the past.