I couldn't finish writing my blog entry at the doctor's. Due to privacy concerns, they wouldn't let me do it. Understandable.
I did chemo from 7:30 am to 5pm today. Tomorrow I do chemo from 7:30 to 11 and then Thursday from 10:30 to 2. Then I am off on Friday and come back Monday. I have an infusion pump attached to me for the next two days. It's about the size of an old cassette recorder, but much lighter. It goes through the port in my arm. I don't really feel anything, but it does make an annoying buzzing noise every minute or so.
My first day went well. Of course, I was scared. The people at the doctor's did everything to make me comfortable and went over everything. I did not get nauseous or get diaria. Apparently if I didn't get sick by now, I probably won't, which is a good thing. There are some side effects. One is, my body gets hot and cold, extremely hot and cold. I sweat a lot and then I shiver. This is normal and should go away. At one point my mouth got really hot, like when you eat a chili pepper. That didn't last long but was uncomfortable. I have to watch touching or drinking cold things as apparently a side effect is extreme sensititvity to cold, to the point where it can cause physical pain. I haven't reached that yet. I went grocery shopping afterwards and felt ok. I reached into the deli case and touched something cold, forgetting the side effect, and I didn't experience any problem. Let's hope that trend continues.
I am tired. I am hungry. I am PISSED OFF I have to go through this. On my way home, I cried. Maybe I shouldn't cry. This is so damn UNFAIR. UGH!!! I should be happy, I am not.
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I know I am dreadfully behind in keeping up with your blog, Ben. I think about you and Kyle and I pray for you often. Our 2nd baby (this one a boy named Marley) is due in a mere 36 days!
I totally empathize with the nausea and consitipation you are experiencing. It's often tough for me to see past this moment as well, for when I look, I see more changes and things I fear. But we both have to remember that not only are our friends and family 100% behind us, so is God and He really IS watching over us.
I love you Ben and I know you are going to make it thru this with stories filled with Grace and Beauty and triumph. You are so brave and so strong and so smart... and you have such great taste in music!!!
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