As I believe I have mentioned, I will be getting a chemotherapy port put in Monday in order to start chemo on Tuesday. I wasn't sure what a port was, and I had heard different things about it, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Along with the information was a external link to someones cancer blog who had a photo essay on what a port is, how it works, and what it looks like. He was very enthusiastic about getting a port and his only regret was not getting one sooner. This made me less anxious. I wanted to read more about his experience, so I went to his cancer blog. There was some great information, most of which I didn't know and wanted answers to, so I was happy I found this resource. As I came to the bottom of the page, I saw this entry:
"(X) died very quickly on (X date) with his wife by his side. He was in no pain." Below that were details of his funeral arrangements.
I have to tell you, this put a chill in my bones. First, it really made me feel strange that the blog I was reading was from a dead person. Second, it makes the reality of what could happen to me hit me right in the face.
I do not want to have an entry in this blog like the one above. I want to have an entry which reads, "So, I am in remission, I feel good, I've been working for a while, and my doctor visits are back to a normal once a month visit. This blog has served its purpose; here endeth the lesson." I hope and pray that you will see that entry on this blog sooner rather then later.
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