Baseball end of season update

I am a Red Sox fan. This means that I also hate the Yankees. The two are synonymous. I am sure the reverse is also true. It gives me great pleasure to know that the Yankees will have to watch the baseball post-season from the sidelines. I hope that Yankee fans are experiencing upset stomachs from the fact that their team will not play past today. I once heard a joke that goes, "What do Yankee fans use for birth control? Their personalities." Break out the Tums and Rolaids, Hank Steinbrenner. You spent over a quarter of a billion dollars on a team that finished behind not only the Red Sox, but Tampa Bay! Hank Steinbrenner is a no class bum who should keep his bombastic mouth shut. His recent comments regarding the Dodgers and the omission of Joe Torre during the video tribute to Yankee Stadium shows Hank's true colors. He was born on third base but thinks he hit a triple. Hank, you aren't half the owner or man your father is. Here's hoping you end up with a bad case of stomach upset and the runs. Both you and your fans can kish mir om tushis all day and all night.

Go Sox. 

Oh, one more thing - much respect to the New York Mets for their choke job. Two years in a row. Guess it's not the manager, huh? Here's a thought on how to make things right... a fish stinks from the head. Look upward. Fire your GM! At least you won't have to play in that toilet known as Shea Stadium anymore... 

My cousins Scott and Sari are both Mets fans. I don't mean to disrespect either of you by writing the above. It's good to be a fan and have passion. It's far better, however, to be a Red Sox fan right about now...

mid morning addendum september 27 2008

My condolences to the family and friends of Paul Newman, who died this morning from cancer. Ironically I was watching Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid on cable this morning and wondering how he was doing... now I just read that he passed. Two of my all time favorite movies are The Sting and Butch Cassidy...

early morning update september 27 2008

It's been a hard week for me in a lot of ways. I had a horrid bout of constipation followed by an even more horrid bout of diarrhea. This put me out of commission for around 2 days. I am on so many medications; medications to move my bowels, medications to stop me from moving my bowels. Anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants. Pain killers. Sleep aids. Standostatin. My body doesn't know which way is up. I had a very restless, dream filled night, which is why I am writing this update at 5 am on a Saturday. Add the ongoing stress of chemo and just plain living with cancer and both my body and mind are hanging on by the skin of their teeth. I need a break. I don't expect I'll get one though... 

This I had to post

Man charged after allegedly passing gas toward cop

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

(09-24) 18:52 PDT South Charleston, W.Va. (AP) --

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/09/24/national/a172444D31.DTL

Update - September 15

So it's been a while since I updated. First, let me tell you all I feel much, much better, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I had very little side effects from my last chemo round, and although my body still does not like the standostatin much I am managing, with the help of Imodium.

Usually when I go this long without updating, it takes something to get me to sit down and write. While looking through my favorite tech/geek gossip website I came across something that got my interest - "lifecasting." This apparently is where people upload video of themselves 24 hours a day - and not only do people watch, but they also pay money for it. From what I understand, this is not porn. That concept I get people would want to pay for, and watch. These are simply very attractive people who video their every move and put it on their website. It caught my interest because, as we speak, these folks are moving into a mid four figure monthly rental live/work space in Manhattan, "Which needs to be unique as we will be filming quite a bit." 

I am quite confident that none of you would want to see my 'lifecast.' I am also quite sure none of you would pay me for the privilege of watching my every move (in fact, some of you would pay NOT to watch it). I think this is a case of technology and celebrity culture run amok. Just because you can broadcast your life every moment does not mean you should. Just because you happen to be more attractive then 99 percent of the population does not mean people should pay to watch you brush your hair. Where do we go from here? We are a vouyeristic culture, and I am guilty of it as anyone else (I was reading a gossip site, after all; even if it was tech/business related). Some things are supposed to be private... or is it that if I can charge for it, it's OK for you to watch?

More Cheerful Update Sunday Sep. 7 2008

This is going to be a much more cheerful, hopeful, normal update then the last one. I am pleased to say I feel much better emotionally. There is nothing particular which happened that turned me around. I just don't feel as hopeless. 

I will be going in for chemo tomorrow. 

Update September 5th 2008

This is not going to be a sweetness and light post. In fact, I would prefer not to communicate in any form at the moment except that I know that if I don't put out how I feel it will fester and grow ugly inside me. 

I have never felt so hopeless since I began this journey eight months ago. Nothing specific has happened in terms of what the doctor has told me. I just began a course of standostatin which is designed to control my primary tumor. The shots make my stomach upset and gives me diarrhea. I feel worse when I get treatment (chemo, etc.) then when I don't, and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. No one yet has been able to tell me when I can go back to work, or even stop doing chemo treatments. Everything the doctor gives me makes me sick. 

I am not sure what I am going to do. I am in the process of trying to get a second opinion through a medical organization not affiliated with my doctor or hospital, so they can look at me with fresh eyes. That doesn't really affect how I feel right now. 

I want to give up and stop everything. I am not sure if I even want to live any more. Everything seems too hard. I don't want to talk to anyone including my family. I have thought seriously about checking myself into a mental hospital as I feel as though I am losing my mind. I know you all have wonderful advice to give and want to be supportive, but I don't really want to hear what you have to say right now. I was going to block comments from this post, but that goes against the whole idea of this blog. I don't believe anyone can say anything that will make me feel better. I am not sure what I am going to do. I don't know if I can do anything that will make this go away. I have said that the day I lose my sense of humor is the day that they will put me in the ground. I am close to losing my sense of humor; in fact I don't think I have it anymore. I am tired of being sick in order to supposedly live longer. I don't think it's worth it anymore. Living five or ten years longer really isn't that big a deal to me right now if in order to achieve it I have to be sick.